Going to the movies these days has become a bit of a nightmare. First of all, here in Kansas City, even finding a good movie is a chore. We get NO indie films unless they are French, a Bollywood musical thing or feature Urban themes and a large Black man in a dress. Not that there is anything wrong with any of the above, but it sure makes for some damned narrow choices. Gone are the awesome Martial Arts films. Indie Horror is pretty much gone as well.
You see, the local Baptist regime seems to love ruining my entertainment. First, they picket our Best Buy stores to get exploitation, horror and anime removed… then they had to go after the multiplexes. Our AMC was so lacking in balls that they would not even carry MILK and it was an Academy Award nominee. It took a huge revolt and a petition signing to get it to show for 2 weeks. Now of course, this same AMC gets EVERY damned Christian propaganda movie released. Films that play NO WHERE else, will play here as a result. No one ever goes to see them, but they still play here. The last one a couple weeks ago was about taking Satan to court. I am not kidding. This is a movie theater, not a damned church. I think I should go and picket their church and damned no good Christian bookstore where all of this stems from.
I was sitting at a local Pizza place, Minski’s, and I overheard a group talking. They had all been at Bible Study. The two guys were so happy. Their Pastor, a guy that also manages the local Lifeway Book Store, had really shown them some love. Why? Well, one of them had been hired as a receiver of stock at the local Wal Mart and the other guy’s brother was in charge of the backroom at Best Buy. They could control what gets put on the shelves. I kid you not. It took everything in me to stop me from crowning them with a Pizza pan. Bastards.
And then I found out that Anderson, who also stocks half of the videos at Wal Mart and half at Best Buy, and is responsible for many indie titles, is also involved with them! Last week Nightmare on Elm Street 2 and 3 came out on BluRay. All of the local Best Buy stores that she serves said they had it in stock, yet no one could find it. Finally one smart employee found it on a cart of RETURNS. A brand new batch of BluRay movies, all Horror, on the RETURN cart. Hmmmm. Same thing at the Wal Mart. Scary thing is, I have grown to know almost all overnight employees at my local Wal Mart and I have now over 10 witnesses on this. Even managers. The day crew, led by this woman and a few others, have hidden movies all over. Even in PAMPERS boxes. Always the same two types of movies…. Horror and Martial Arts. I go into Wal Mart at Midnight and it takes them till 2 AM to find my hidden movies EACH AND EVERY WEEK. If they even find them at all. Recently I overheard these people saying that Martial Arts was the gateway to Satanism. !!!!!. I can’t make shit like this up.
Of course Wal Mart carries Gangsta movies, Sex comedies uncut with “Naked Commentary” and those insane JackAss movies with balls flying every 3 seconds, also uncut – they carry Hunting DVDs showing real killing of animals – they carry drug movies and tons of redneck boozing CDs … BUT NO WAY can we get our Horror or Martial Arts movies – those will lead to SATAN!
And this is just one example. Our local Vintage Stock stores get no Horror BluRays, yet the ones in nearby areas get a ton! Hell, when we got our Borders, it was the lamest Borders ever. No wonder the went out of business!!! You could order anything there and get it except Horror or Exploitation movies! They would never show up, get “lost” or simply someone would forget to order them!!!! And no matter who you talk to, you get the brush off. No one cared about the customer!!! People smile and nod and then go back to being a damned clone asshole. “We’ll look into it.” or “Man, that doesn’t make sense… I’ll talk to the district manager.” And again – blow off. The local Blockbuster gets Sex comedies and Drug movies all uncut, but they get Horror cut and tamed down – unless it’s some major studio release because we all know that a major studio these days would NEVER do anything to shake the boat.
Last time I checked, this was still land of the Free and home of the Brave. How dare these religious idiots think they can censor my life for my own good. It’s time to take a stand. And I am doing that. I am searching for names, e-mails and other info about these people and when the time is right, I will release the info via my radio show, Nightwatch. It is time to stop the madness.
And this is simply the beginning of the nightmares when going to the movies are involved…. next week, I’ll continue this with Going to the Theater 2: Texting Zombies From High School Hell. Be here.